At Popdin it’s our duty to recommend you brilliant new music in the most concise, hopefully entertaining way possible, however nothing quite gets Popdin’s verbal engine running than a truly shitty album. Here are the ‘highlights’ from a year of spite.
As absurd as the idea is, here are 20 albums from 2014 ranked in order of which is the bestest. I toyed with not ranking them at all and just presenting an alphabetical list of brilliant albums of the year, but the idea seemed weirdly patrician, as if I lacked any kind of joy or sense of humour and believed myself to be superior to those who see the process of end-of-year list-making as a harmless bit of fun. Well I don’t want to be that wanker, so here you go...
Here it is gang, you can all stop trying to figure out for yourselves what music to listen to now, I’ve done all the hard work for you. These are the top 20 songs of 2014 according to Popdin, whose ego has inflated to weird, unjustified expanses in little over a year.
Is there anything shitter than a jukebox musical? Of course not. For those who are blissfully unaware, a jukebox musical is a stage show that shoehorns a popular band's biggest hits into a narrative that bears little relation to the artist's music. Think Mamma Mia! (featuring the music of Abba) or We Will Rock You (featuring the music of Queen). They're basically a licence to print money. They’re also, without exception, terrible. That’s why I’ve decided to make them better, so here are my own concepts for seven brand new jukebox musicals.
For the sake of pop culture completism and that thorny little necessity called democracy, here are the Popdin staff-writers’ favourite albums of 2014.
Eric and Ernie displayed more relaxed eroticism in their dressing gowns and slippers than these four ‘hard-rocking men of the world’.
Posted by The Ape
at 07:53 on 02 Dec 2014
The Ape sent me his list of favourite albums of 2014 with a note saying "I know where all the intelligent monkeys are. They're angry at what you said about Pink Floyd, they have automatic weapons and they've been drinking all day". I assumed this was a threat so I thought I'd better publish his list just in case. You can tell The Ape is a proper music journalist because he tells you the record label of each album in square brackets next to the title, plus you've never heard of half the bands he's talking about and there's an ever present threat of physical violence. [CR]
As I mentioned before, it's not just this jerk (me) that gets to spread his bitter cynicism around the internet, others are occasionally allowed their two-cents too.*
Here's Leon, the absurdly handsome musician/DJ/record-store-clerk picking up my slack and covering a few albums I missed this month. One quick warning for fans of overrated miserablilia, Leon takes a pop at The National.
‘Polarising’ doesn’t even begin to describe Ariel Pink adequately. 'Raving arsehole' is probably more appropriate. 'Nincompoop’ is even better. It’s exactly the sort of chronically unfashionable yet deeply self-aware term perfect for a man who looks like he’s stumbled out of a bedsit after spending ten years watching late night cable TV, recording drum synths onto an 8-track and masturbating into a My Little Pony sticker book.
TV on the Radio have long since shed their reputation as the best band in the world. I don’t think they really mind, if anything it takes the pressure off, but for me personally I find it difficult to reconcile the band they are now with the band they once were.