Yeah we're horrible shits aren't we. If we're not at home watching Top Gear and failing to make eye-contact with our wives, we're murmuring racial epithets in the vague direction of the Polish taxi driver who just dropped us off at Stringfellow's where we'll spend the night screaming at a blonde stripper who reminds us of a girl we once taunted in school before ending the evening sobbing in a cubicle and unsuccessfully trying to ejaculate over a video that's struggling to buffer on a smartphone we're about to drop in the toilet.
DID YOU KNOW? Kelis is a Le Cordon Bleu trained saucier? Yeah, suck on that fact-nerds. In between Kelis's fourth album in 2006 Kelis Was Here
and the 2010 release of her fifth album Flesh Tone
, Kelis was going to give up all of this singing nonsense and get a proper job instead.
It seems however that having racist abuse shouted at her by Isle of Wight residents marginally outweighed her desire to work 12 hour shifts in her local Little Chef and here we are, the second album to be released in Kelis's quasi-retirement, the food themed uh... Food
Having dropped several tracks heavily adored by the music blogs, Mr Little Jeans aka Norway's Monica Birkenes has signed to Sony Australia for the release of this debut album Pocketknife
THIS IS THE AUTOMATIC POPDIN RESPONSE UNIT STOP
ALL HUMAN MEMBERS OF POPDIN ARE CURRENTLY OUT OF THE OFFICE ENJOYING THIS UNDESERVED EVENT YOU HUMANS CALL BANK HOLIDAY MONDAY STOP
HERE ARE THIS WEEK’S NEW RELEASES STOP
I HAVE BEEN ORDERED BY MY CRUE-FSZXXXCHHHH GENTLE MASTERS TO INFORM YOU THAT KELIS IS THE ALBUM OF THE WEEK STOP
SEE YOU AT THE BOTTOM OF ARTICLE FOR DELIVERY OF STANDARD CAPTION JOKE STOP
I'm not too sure about Chet Faker's lyric writing process. Anybody who has repeatedly listened to the phenomenal Flume
track 'Left Alone' featuring Chet can attest to never actually grasping what the hell he's saying. It seems to be an "I just open my mouth and let whatever comes out come out" approach.
Where once a man sounded like the very embodiment of a television commercial featuring Jamie Oliver cooking up some jerk chicken, now Paolo Nutini sounds like a man trying to be someone he's not. Part low-rent Amy Winehouse, part even lower-rent Bobby Womack, Caustic Love
has little discernible originality or personality but does at least benefit from not sounding as teeth-grindingly jaunty as Nutini's previous albums.
It's going to be a great week. Kelis's finest album yet, Food
, is streaming right now a whole week early.
Another week, another collection of albums by white men with beards. "Hey what you doing there, Chet?" "Oh not much, just wearing my hood up and having a promo picture taken of myself that I'm pretending I don't really want taken. Do I look suitably incredulous?" "You certainly do, Chet. You certainly do."
Here are this week's new album releases.
A 52 part series where I (the groom-to-be) rails against the clichéd music you usually hear played at weddings and proposes a new playlist. One full of songs that are not only romantic and great to dance to but also idiosyncratic, personal, unexpected and when played loudly in front of a room full of people, sound absolutely incredible. This is THE NEW WEDDING PLAYLIST!